LOTTA’S DREAM

Lotta’s Dream 1989

LottaDbl 1989

I met Lotta, like so many other people who modeled for me, in the Café La Boheme in San Francisco. She was a painter from Sweden and readily agreed to model nude.

I was ecstatic at the results as my pictures of her were some of the first really good nudes I shot using my wineglass lenses. In the shot Lotta’s Dream, I had her lie down on one of my tables and draped some cloth and taped up a bit of Mylar behind her head. I had the weird thought that the Mylar might look like flames. How wrong I was. As I saw then and found out much more later, Mylar would speak in its own language.

To the right’s another shot I took of her the same day. This one has puzzled me since I first printed it. I’ve always suspected that the strange “double” face of Lotta was actually a reflection of me behind the camera caught by the unshielded wineglass element hanging in the air in front of the camera. I think this may have happened more than once. This is another strange aspect of this type of photography – it’s as if what happened in the room when I shot her is the subject, not simply her.

LottasDrawingSnusMumrick 1989

Tarot card I found in San Francisco in early 80s

Without intending to, I shot them all with her face in focus and pretty much undistorted, but each looked beautiful to me. Later, when I knew her better, she told me that I reminded her of the Snus Mumrick. I didn’t know what this mythical character was so she drew a picture of one for me. Happily I still have it and can share it with you.

She also told me I could easily become a painter if I wanted to – I just had to pick up a brush and start. I doubted this but the fact that she insisted helped my confidence because I trusted her honesty and opinion.

Her drawing reminded me of something I had sitting on my desk. It was a tarot card I found on the street, well before I met her. Why did I pick it up? I think it is actually the same reason I take one picture and not another. It seemed as if the wind had blown it there for me to find.

LottasDrawingwCamera 1989

Holbein postcard

The same day she made another drawing of me with my camera, all of course from her imagination. I love that one also because it shows me in my Renaissance hat.

While in Vienna in 1986, I made a few dozen Renaissance hats and walked around the bars and cafes there calling out “Hats for sale” in German. I sold some but gave most away – the story of my life. I kept a couple for myself and wore one from time to time in San Francisco.

Self made seal for Renaissance hats 1986

I made the hats on a whim. I’d gone through the museums in Vienna and was impressed by the older paintings. I bought a postcard of a one I liked by Hans Holbein. I thought the hats they wore then were cool but no one made them so I decided to do it myself. I liked the postcard so much I had it propped up on my desk for decades.

Finally, to really end this story, is the seal I put into each of the Renaissance hats I made. I made a stamp with the motto “New Renaissance” and glued in the cloth you see in the photo I have here. Although I did this partly for personal reasons, in my idealism I also wanted to believe that something like that was possible in our age.

Despite all I have learned about the ills of this world, today I still think it is possible to give birth to a New Renaissance.